updates...

hey everyone! wah lao i hate this new blog format! makes it feel like i am blogging on googledocs...hehe anyway! hols have started so am just sleeping and slacking around...no idea wat to do these days...have been catching up with old friends and meeting up with my uni friends...apdiyey poguthu! but has beeenn sooo fun meeting up with nava and shafali hehe! they r both so funnyyy! we come up with the craziest jokes whenever we meet and end up laughing continuously for sooo long! HEHE! damn funny la! i dont even rmb wat we laugh about but everything is so funny! i really really lowe them! :) good old memories! feels like secondary school all over again! sadly shafali is leaving to work in New York soon and wont be back for two years sigh...i have a feeling she will get married and settle there after the two years also! :S and nava might be busy when her bar starts also so we dont really noe when we will get to meet after this sigh...but we shall meet whenever we can now! :)

so wat else...i have been watching tamil padams as usual...watched valakku en 18/9 which was super sad and omg...and then watched oru kal oru kannadi which was not bad...the jokes quite funny but no story at all! i like uthayanithiiiii! :) hehe he is so nice and humble in interviews! and his voice is so soft and gentleee! i likeee! he got nice hair also hehe! and santhanam is so funny these days! his pants in that movie were so colourful and funny hehe! then i watched kahaani which was woo hoo! so thrilling and omg...couldnt even guess the last scene! was so full of suspense...well done! oo! before all these i watched 3 which was quite disappointing...really thought it would be a good movie but second half killed the movie! the first half was all sweet and nice and brought a lot of memories but the second half was too sudden...like they didnt even show the development of the bipolar disorder or have any reason for it...so was like...wat the hell is happening...hehe if only that link was properly shown it would have been nicer! but otherwise i am still in lowe with the songs! especially ithalin oru oram! the picturisation is like woo hoo! :) makes me smile! :)

so after this am not sure wat i will do...i think i will go watch kalakalapu masala cafe now...sundar c padam! so probably will be funny and nice hhee! i am a movie freak! :) ok ppl...shall come back later! ok then...

Take care,
S.Purnima Janani

happy new year 2012...

hey everyone! wish all of u a very very happy new year 2012! :)) as i say every year...time really flies! it doesnt feel like one year passed at all and i dont remember anything significant i did in 2011! but yayyy lets welcome the new year and see wat is in store for us! :) hehe recently actually i have been meeting a lot of ppl who dont believe in new year or in birthdays or in any sort of celebrations! hehe like wat my friend posted on fb...saying that a single day is the start of a new year is like pointing to a point on a circle and saying it is the start! hehe true also! but i guess anything can be a reason to celebrate! after all celebrations r fun and nice! and with all the happy and positive vibes from everyone...everyone just feels happy for some reason! and i believe that each day is just as important and worth celebrating! :) so happy new year to u regardless of whether u believe in it or not! :)

hehe this year my new year resolution is to not make any resolution because i never follow them anyway...in fact i dont even remember my resolutions after the first day! hehe let me think...i think in the past it has been things like...oo must only eat brown rice...must exercise...must be nice to everyone...must help with house chores...but in the end...never do anything at all...hehe i guess resolutions should only be made when we r completely ready and determined to do something! and we can do that any time...doesnt have to be on new year hehe...so if i do make any resolution in the middle of the year i shall let u all noe! :)

anyway just wanted to list my top 10 songs that i really liked this year because i think after many years i had a confusion on which is my best song! on oli's countdown i usually can guess a few songs every year but this time i couldnt hehe...i guessed enamo etho and otha sollala but in the end it was mankatha which was nowhere near my top 10 hehe! oo wells! enamo etho is my song of the year no matter wat! :)





















and my top 10 movies:

-Aadukalam
-Ko
-Engeyum Epothum
-Mouna Guru
-Theivathirumagal
-Kanchana
-7aam Arivu
-Mankatha (can watch once only!)
-Vaagai Soodava
-Siruthai (just for the comedy!)

i didnt like osthi...rajapattai...mayakkam enna...avan ivan...180 that much! :) all could have been so much better!

anyway it was a good year for good songs and great movies! so hope u all enjoy ur new year and have a great 2012 ahead! :)

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEARRR!:)

ok then...

Take care,
S.Purnima Janani

ethiroli...

hey everyone! so yday i had my second ethiroli shooting nearly after 2 years! and it felt sooo great to meet the same team again! :) They r such jolly and nice ppl they make everyone feel so happy and good! :) And they all even remembered my name! =)) Really love the team! Rite from the cameraman to the host to the producers...everyone was so funny and niceee! Really like being part of their shows all the time mainly because they make me feel so much at home :) Of course before going for the shoots i feel super nervous and even when talking i feel super shy and weird...but still...the whole excitement before and after the shoot...and the funny things that happen during the shoot r so nice to experience! And since i came back from the shoot i have been having a serious hangover...it was just a few hours that we all spent together but somehow i miss the whole place and ppl and experience so much...i rmb how 2 years ago this was how we felt as well...after the shoot ended i was just standing there and talking to all of them as if i didnt want to go home...just makes me sad when everyone leaves and everything ends so abruptly! the joy...the fun...the good times...and yday...i felt the same way! it felt like...oo noo when r we all going to come again together after this! :( was sad...and as usual was talking and talking after the shoot ended until my friends had to drag me out! hehe...i guess i really love the environment there... :)

many many years ago...like 6 years ago when me and my friends interned at mediacorp...i felt this way too! each day was something to look forward to and everyday we learn new things from the ppl there! they all had such nice and valuable stories to share and made me feel so comfortable! I remember i really missed the place when i ended my internship there too...and when they asked so will u all come back to work here in the future? i think i was the only one who said YES I WILL! hehe but of course wat i am doing now is completely far far away from wat i should have done...in fact my passion for Tamil has been left alone for super long as well...yday when i had to suddenly speak in Tamil it just wasnt easy and natural anymore...i had to repeatedly keep thinking of words and forming sentences...and it felt so bad! I even used an English to Tamil online dictionary to search for simple simple words... :( In the past it used to be so natural...no planning no thinking...just talk! Practising for debates everyday really helped in the natural flow of Tamil! But now i have lost it...and i have no idea why i let myself lose my passion for Tamil...even though i may not be doing anything related to it...i should at least spend some time brushing up my Tamil and doing things related to Tamil in my own time! But sigh...why did i just let go? Of course i still do talk in Tamil with my friends and family members but that is just normal stuff...when it comes to talking fluently about a topic with the rite words and making a coherent and clear argument...i am unable to do it alr :( I rmb i badly wanted to study Tamil literature in JC and Tamil in Uni as well...but both didnt happen...but just because of that i should not have let go of my interests and ritings completely...not that i was good in Tamil or anything...just that I was really interested in it and it made me happy! Probably the whole Tamil class fun and Tamil friends i had and mokkai we speak in Tamil all made Tamil feel extremely close to me...it wasnt just a language for me...it was more than that :)

And maybe that is why i was so happy again yday...to be able to get back that drive to speak in Tamil and to be able to actually think about Tamil words and sentences...of course watever i spoke in the end was still omg -_-blabbering and such incoherent stuff (yes i start with something and talk abt something else and end with something else :S) hehe...but at least the process of thinking about wat to say in Tamil made me happy :) It felt like meeting a long lost friend/love... :) And i truly have not experienced this sort of joy in a long long time...and i should thank the team for allowing this to happen! :)

At least from now on i should make a conscious effort to pen down my thoughts in Tamil and to continue riting in Tamil...there r so many of my friends who have a Tamil blog...rite Tamil poems in their free time and all that! And even when they showed me their works it didnt strike me that I should be doing that too! :S How stupid of me! But definitely yday made me realise that I have gone far far faaaaaaar away from all my interests and have just been going with the flow...so it is time to get back to those good old times and think about where to go from here! :)

And i have always wanted to work as a Tamil teacher for primary school students...but am not sure how i am fit anymore since i myself cant speak continuously in Tamil...so that requires lots and lots of training like wat i was doing 6 or 7 years ago! :S wow time really flies man...hehe maybe i should just go work with the ethiroli team! :P they r such fun ppl i really really love all of them! :) It is an amazing work environment...and though there is so much of work to do like finding a topic finding ppl to talk finding a place to talk...gathering everyone planning wat to say...shooting the episode...going back to edit it...make the trailer make the episode and repeat the cycle again...it feels so nice to be doing something for everyone to benefit and learn from...it creates awareness among ppl and it leads to more and more discussion! :) That is one thing that would make me feel satisfied...and of couse the fact that the ppl there...even under so much of pressure...u can see that they all really really love their work! That is why they r so happy and fun and talk so sweetly with everyone! :)) Even in schools...like when i am doing projects with ppl...my project mates get sooo worked up and tensed and get frustrated and scream at ppl when they r really working on something...and over the past few years i have accepted that ok this is wat ppl will do when they r stressed/under pressure...and even i do it (not the screaming part but becoming all tension tension and easily agitated hehe) but this team...and the Tamil news team i was interning under many years ago...the ppl from both these teams have always been sooooo extremelyyy calm and cool and pleasant! Never have i seen any of them tensed or angry at all...even if someone makes a mistake they take it really lightly and just continue in a very jolly manner! They even make jokes out of it! Sooo cute! :)) And i think that is an amazing thing! Probably everyone needs to be cool so that they can make the ppl who r talking feel comfortable and happy as well but still...under so much of pressure i have no idea how they r all able to be so nice and calm! :) They even spend time talking to us before and after the show when they have other work to do...and made me feel so attached to them! :)which is why i am missing the whole thing rite now! Thinking abt it...Wow...it would really be a dream to be part of the teams because if someone can make u feel like this is wat u should be doing everyday...then that is where ur real interest lies! :) Imagine going for work everyday and missing ur workplace when u go back home! That is the best man! :)) But of course these things will never happen because I am like not fit at all to be part of their team...no knowledge and no talent aaa...so forget it! :S

Anyway! Just wanted to blog abt this because am still feeling so high from the shoot! And i really want to meet them all againnnnnn! But that will probably only happen after another two years...or never... :S oo wells...

ok sori i am so high hehe! :) have a good day ahead! And rmb to never let go of ur passion! :)

Take care,
S.Purnima Janani

lowe failure songs...

hey everyone! everytime i am sad i listen to lowe failure songs...so just decided to share a few of them here! dont noe why some lowe failure songs r mostly directed at girls and talk abt how the girl cheated the guy or used him and how guys should never trust girls and how the guy was so sincere while the girl was playing around. hehe i mean it can apply both ways rite...come on female poets! start riting about how guys can cheat on girls as well! =P heehee anyway love failure songs r nice in their own way...very very sad and touching...and can make u cry just thinking about a lost love...

so here r my top 10! =)






















dont cry too much...love is only for those who r fated to find it... =)

Take care,
S.Purnima Janani

looks dont matter!

Hey everyone! Been sooo long since i last blogged! Hehe have always been havin the urge to blog whenever i see or hear of something bloggable but just never got down to riting it! Hopefully i still rmb some of the things i thought abt over the past few weeks! =)

So one of it was linked to wat i wanted to rite abt looong ago! The issue of how much looks and grooming urself matters to ppl these days. Seriously i have no clue why this is such a big deal to some ppl. I noe that looking good makes anyone happy and gives u the yayyy today i look good feeling...but i personally dont believe that this feeling should be ur main source of happiness and confidence. Like seriously! It is good to be happy when u look good but u shouldnt be sad when u dont! I noe of ppl who r soooo overly concerned about looks that their priority is always on that. And i mean ALWAYS. Even when they go to classes...or return from a flight all shagged...the first thing they do is to check themselves out on the mirror and start whining. And they will be like OO NOOO i am so fat...aaa i got pimple...sigh am so ugly...blablabla and they go on and on non-stop for the whole day. Damn pissing off. Like so wat if u dont look good? Not everyone has to grow up to be pretty and slim and model material. And that too look good everyday -_- so get a life. I dont even think ppl who r pretty and have a good body r superior. Because wat matters more is ur character and who u r in the inside. Ur looks can only mean 20% to me. If u r extremely pretty but not very nice, i wouldnt even think u r pretty. And vice versa. But i am not so sure about how much other ppl might value beauty. =S

So then another subtopic when it comes to beauty is grooming. A lot of ppl i meet these days believe that grooming is definitely something that is needed in many situations. Like when it comes to ppl's impression on u and in order to portray urself as someone who takes cares of himself, they believe that grooming is a must. And they also feel that it definitely gives them an advantage over non-groomers when it comes to being more confident in jobs and their social lives and love lives. Even on vijay tv there have been numerous debates in neeya naana regarding this topic and there r always two groups of ppl who argue for and against grooming. So once in the debate it was mentioned that there r two types of ppl- not sure of the terms but i think it is physical and intellectual. So the intellectual ppl do feel good when they look good but their focus isnt on that. They dont take extra efforts to thread their eyebrows and blowdry their hair and look good all the time. In fact they r happier when ppl praise them for things like them being able to lead a group well or teach someone something well. That is wat gives them real confidence that they can do something, whereas for the other group of ppl, they feel that when someone praises the way they look that gives them happiness. And they feel like that is their identity. So these were the two groups of ppl's overall thoughts. :)

I think that it is perfectly fine to get ur own happiness from grooming if u believe in it. But the problem comes in when u try to change other ppl to suit ur way of thinking. The moment someone tells u that their confidence or self-esteem is low...a lot of ppl's first advice is to go lose weight and start grooming urself. I think losing weight in order to be healthy and strong is good. Definitely helps u feel better when u feel healthy as well. But losing weight JUST to look good and to feel "more confident" is bad. That too when u urself dont believe in it. It is quite a weird situation because when ppl tell me to go groom myself i do feel that i might become more confident if i do it because of how much the world around me values it. I might be more accepted in some groups that dont even talk to me now and i might feel better from that. But i dont want to get my confidence by doing this because to me it is an extremely weird route. Like if i myself dont believe that looking good is such a big deal then why should i do it just to get good vibes from ppl i dont even noe? I am not sure if i can even be happy that more ppl r accepting me just because i have transformed myself to be someone else. In fact i think i might end up feeling worse. Yes a lot of ppl feel down and have low self-esteem because of so many different things- becuase they feel they arent good enuf in wat they r doing, because a lot of ppl dont accept them for no particular reason and because they dont see a purpose in life. But why is it that to make them confident u tell them to start looking good? Why dont u tell them to do something that will improve themselves in wat they feel is lacking in them? Or do things that will make them FEEL good? Like go for courses? Or do social service? Or start their own hobby? Of all things why do u tell them to look good? The only answer i have is again because of how much ppl value it. See if nobody thought it was a big deal and thought of everyone as equal without judging them on their first impression...then i am not sure if everyone will still spend so much effort and time and money to groom themselves. Yes i do noe of ppl who groom themselves to personally feel good from inside and that is fine. I think if u believe in it and u r doing it for urself then it is no problem at all. Just that when u do it ONLY to be accepted in some groups then it is slightly sad. It is like nobody has accepted u for the person u really r. And worse if u make other ppl do it as well just becuase of wat u believe in.

I think because we value beauty and grooming so much without us realising it, we have started judging ppl without us noeing. This is the extremely sad consequence of this whole situation. I dont noe why but ppl say it is very natural to like and be attracted to good looking ppl more. I used to think ppl only use that as a criteria when r looking for a bf or gf. And i do noe that a lot of ppl dont think it is a big deal when u r choosing ur love also (:)) But in recent times i noe of so many ppl who wont even talk to u or think of u as friends if u dress shabily or dont comb ur hair. I think this is like one of the worst ways of judging someone. These ppl who i have talked to state that if they see ppl who dont wear clothes properly or look like they dont care abt grooming then they r lazy and irresposible and have no drive or motivation in life. Then i will be like pls...u dont even noe him! How can u just look at someone and conclude so many things abt him! If u want u should become his friend without having any ideas abt him and then get to noe abt his character and then if u really really cannot accept it just leave him! Why must u create barriers around urself and not even befriend him just becuase u think he is someone he may not even be? I noe of a lot of ppl who dont groom themselves for many many reasons. They might have no time to do it or not think of it as that important or not even have enough money to buy that many clothes. And i noe of ppl who r sooo hardworking that they simply r not bothered abt these stuff. All they care about is doing well in their work and achieving something. So why must u stereotype ppl who dont groom themselves as lazy ppl? Also, u should realise that ppl have their own definitions of grooming. For me for example, i think if u bathe everyday and wear clean clothes and look decent it is good enuf. For some ppl it is wearing fashionable clothes and shoes. For some it is just bathing everyday. For some it is wearing makeup and wearing nice classy clothes. So if u think that someone hasnt achieved ur level of grooming why do u have to put him down? How would u feel if i told u that ur fashionable clothes arent enuf and u have to wear branded clothes and make up and then only i would talk to u? I dont understand how looks can even be a criteria for choosing friends. Isnt friendship supposed to have no barriers especially before u even get to noe someone? A lot of ppl say first impression is the best impression. Yes that might be true to a certain extent but havent u met ppl who u thought were like this but ended up to be completely different ppl? So why not take that chance? I have felt extremely sad in the past when ppl always thought i was weird or nerdy for so many years in my life and always wished somebody would just talk to me without just ignoring me. And i would never do that to anyone unless i realise ur character and principles r not nice. So looks and all r nothing to me if i am talking to u for the first time as friends =) yayyy be my friend!

And of course i have many many friends who always wear make up or groom themselves when we all go out. And as teenagers we always discussed about how we should wear this wear that look good and all. And i have actually shopped for those make up stuff and have them at home also. Just that i never felt like using them. Hehe! Like i like buying those but dont feel the need or the urge to use them before going out. Just not in me. And even when my friends genuinely tell me to try to wear it i wont because i dont believe in it. I do noe that my friends really really r saying it becasue of their concern for me but i dont want to be accepted this way. Even if it means losing some groups of friends it doest matter to me. All i want is ppl who will accept me for who i am and not be bothered about how i look or dress up. =)

Anyway why i wanted to blog about this is because of the recent london weight management advertisement issue. The ad was really quite disturbing and i was super angry when i saw it. Had the same feelings towards it as Anita Kapoor. To attribute any form of looks- like a slim body, to success and a happy marriage life was just sad. It was as if that was the only thing her husband and her boss cared about. Sad sad. I wonder if there r ppl like that actually. I always ask my guy friends if they would prefer a wife who was pretty and nice or not so pretty but very nice. And most of them usually say they need a combination of both. I dont noe why hehe. I always never thought it was as important because of two reasons- one is that looks r temporary and that is the first thing to change as u age. Secondly, looks arent a reflection of ur personality. So if i look at all my crushes/ppl i have liked...they all arent that dashing hot or handsome. Just very very nice and humble ppl and i think that is wat makes them handsome =)

Also...whenever i see extreme makeover shows or not so extreme makeover shows i get super pissed off. U dont just go surprise someone at home and tell them they r going for a makeover and then do things to them and then ask them at the end if they feel more confident and good. That is just sad. I will be super sad if my friends arrange that for me hehe. I think u have no rites to tell me how i should look like even if u r my husband and that u changing my looks is as if u r changing my entire identity. If i dont believe in it u shouldnt force me to do things in the hope of making me more confident. And to see how ppl in some of these shows cry a lot because of how they were always bullied or discriminated against makes me super sad. Like there was this woman who had crooked teeth and she never smiled or talked much because ppl always made fun of her. So she went for that show and cried so much and the panel decided to do an operation or something to make her get well alligned teeth and a beautfiul smile. So they printed out a picture of her with her how-her-teeth-will-look-like and showed it to her and she was so surprised and happy to see it. And then she cried again because she was happy that it was going to happen to her. After that i switched off the tv and dont noe wat happened but i felt like ppl r just making other ppl feel worse and worse about themselves. If someone comes to me crying because of the way she looks the only thing i will change in her is the way she thinks and not the part she feels sad about. The more we do these kind of things, the more we r encouraging and supporting ppl to think that yes looks r so important that u have to change things about urself in order to be happy. And then it will jsut become ingrained in us that it we MUST look good/normal/acceptable. That is just rong. I want to make a show that shows how ppl can be happy without looking good. It is all in the mind. And if ppl bully u because of how u look, tell them they suck and move on with life. Dont keep changing urself to be accepted because ppl will never be satisfied no matter wat u do. And no matter how "bad" other ppl think ur smile is...u have all the rights in the world to smile from ear to ear. :) I noe it is difficult to live with those vibes comin to u but we have to fight against it and not give in to these ppl. Prove to them that u can be happy without being one of them. And i would always remember this quote whenever i think of this issue- "They laugh at me because i am different. I laugh at them because they r all the same." :)

So yes. Be the change u want to see in this world.

Take care,
S.Purnima Janani

Sangae Muzhangu 2011...

Hey ppl! Last week i attended Sangae Muzhangu 2011! =) Was really really excited to go for it because i had no clue wat the story was abt or wat to expect! And it was simply amazing! Good script that covered most of the recent social and political issues...nice dances at the start and really good comedy! I think it is hard to bring out comedy sometimes because we may not be sure hoe the audience will react to it! But this year comedy was damn good! We laughed and laughed at dinesh's tamil dialogues and usha's cute english! hehehe was really cute! And as always...awesome acting by nallu durga jayasutha and the hero of the show VEMALAN! i have no clue how he remembered soooo many dialogues because he was there in most of the scenes! Really matured acting! He looked really experienced! =) was very nice! And the props were really huge and beautiful to look at from far! props has always been the highlight of sangae! So this year it was as usual amazing! =) Loved the caves and the circus at the end! =) Always wondered how they made such huge and stable ones! Super nice! loved priya's rendition of kanaamoochi yenadaa also! the setup totally reminded me of my time sangae where priya sang and usha danced for kannalane! that was the highlight of sangae 09 so doing it again this year was nice! =) My favourite song in the show was eppadi iruntha en manasu though hehe! Very cute choreography! Between nallu and durga there was this professional loweee...and then at the background there were two jc students running around! WAS DAMN CUTEEE! =)) heheh will definitely remind everyone of their teenage love... =) niceeeee! i used to like the song for genelia! but now i like this choreography better! hehe there was a certain cuteness and innocence to it...especially when nallu durga and the jc boy each did the same step in the middle of the stage with the spotlight on them! =)) super nice!

Story wise i always wondered how it was possible to integrate social and political issues into a different story! Was very intelligent...but needed to think a lot! hehe it was like a kamalhaasan movie! And the last scene was damn manmathan ambu! HEHE! with confusions and ppl looking for each other...totally reminded me of the comedy in manmathan ambu...hehehe but overall the story was thought provoking and nice man! Really raised the bars! =) GOOD JOB NALLU AND TEAMMM! =)) could see the amount of hardwork and dedication that everyone had! =) very good effort! And was super proud of nallu and durga for supporting each other all the wayyy! =)) yayyy! Every scene just reminded me abt my time sangae...how much they would have rehearsed over the holidays...how much technical details they would have taken care of and stuff like that...totally brought back lots of good memories! no matter how difficult it is to go thru the entire process...i think at the end it is all worth it! =)) when u finally see the performance on stage...u will definitely wish u were part of the production! =) and that is how i felt at the end as well...i was like CHA! miss pannitomeyyy...sigh...hopefully next time i can come back and be part of this beautiful show as well! =))

enjoyyyy!

Take care,

S.Purnima Janani